


Bored Doctor, Sleeping Fox, Annoyed Machiavelli

by Astray



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Gen, Machiavelli is a Volpe-sitter, The Doctor is bored, use of poison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 12:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astray/pseuds/Astray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malfatto is bored. Everything is boring. But then, he has heard about a certain Master Thief who evades all attempts to catch him. Maybe he should try.<br/>And sometimes, Machiavelli wonders if La Volpe does things only when he is certain that it will annoy everyone (i.e. himself).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bored Doctor, Sleeping Fox, Annoyed Machiavelli

**Author's Note:**

> Fanfic written for Kinkmeme. Anon wanted La Volpe to be taken down a peg or two. Cue Malfatto poisoning him. Because Malfatto is bored. And Machiavelli is not going to let him live it down. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own them. Obviously. Otherwise there'd be Lupo in the main storyline of Brohood! Among other things.

He was bored. Bored to tears even. The assassins who just came to town found a way to ruin his fun like no one ever had before. Such nuisance. Malfatto sighed, glacing at his his medical implements and idly wondering if it would not be a good idea to go out today. Maybe it was time to get some fresh air because, in truth, it was rather claustrophobic in there. Normally, Il Lupo would pay him a visit now and then, to check on his progress. After his first meeting with the Cavazza woman, she has disappeared from the streets. All the better – considering how annoying she was, people would have began to wonder why she was alive, out of all. And he could not afford that now, could he? Oh well... He got up from his desk, putting on his doctor garb on. He paused at the mask. It was strange how this very mask used to make people turn to him hopefully – because as soon as they understood that he was here to heal them permanently, they would panic. Humans were strange creatures, to be certain.

Malfatto went by the side streets, soon getting out of the centro district. Down to Antico. Truth be told, he was not so fond of ruins, but the animals he would see here were of a different stock. Wild animals they were. Thieves, for the most part. As he walked nearer the Trajan Therms, he heard guards muttering. Having a better hearing than many was a curse sometimes because the most inconsequential conversation could set him of a scent. He really abhorred it sometimes. However, he listened more carefully after one mentioned an uncatchable thief. He heard Lanz brag about his own rapidity and stealth but Malfatto knew better. He had caught a glimpse of that man once, and Lupo told him about running into him once or twice while on patrol. The man would never approach them, threaten of even speak. One moment he was looking at them and the next he was gone. In utter silence. Malfatto was not the superstitious type, though he was ready to acknowledge the man's skills. He did not know his name – according to the pup, he was called La Volpe. It was of no consequence to him. Maybe he would manage to have his fun at the thief's expanse – that would be lovely and he would have something to shove back into Lanz's teeth – not to mention Lupo's, but the prowler was the closest one to him so maybe he would go easy on him. This once.

It was not easy to track down a fox but he eventually found him. Not that he was trying to be so discreet and it almost hurt Malfatto's ego to think that he did not even think it was useful. This will have to change. Upon closer look, the thief was staring into space, as though he was not aware of what was going around him. Maybe it was a trap, and thus Malfatto stayed on his guard, just in case. However, the man did not budge even when Malfatto was some three meters from his back. Malfatto knew the risks – Cavazza had jumped at him despite him 'poking' her – he did not even manage to poison her – and he was well-aware that the Master Thief in front of him would be no different. Possibly worse. He had seen his face, half of it, and it showed a man who was older than many in the street's trade. Therefore, he had to be a good one, and a good fighter as well. Malfatto drew his syringe. The liquid was a dull green – nothing like his usual poisons. This one was not supposed to kill but dull an adversary's reflexes for some time. Cesare Borgia had comissioned him and demanded something that even his 'idiotic guards' could use without fearing life-threatening incidents in the ranks. No point having his army decimated before the actual battle, right? He was fast – and managed to hit a spot that was normally protectd by pieces of armour. Right next to the great nerve in the lower back, the one that ran straight to the foot. He slipped backward just in time to avoid the stare of La Volpe who had spun around, his right hand moving immediately to his knife when the left went right to his back where he was pricked. 

He saw nothing but... something gnawed at him. He had heard of the infamous doctor who used his attire to lure his victims and poison them. And he was said to do so with a syringe. Bah, must have been a wasp – these had been rather invasive this year. And he did not hear anything. Yeah, you were spacing out, you idiota! You probably got poisoned and will die. So he waited. And waited. When nothing occurred after an hour, he decided to go back to the _Volpe Addormentata_. Or maybe to Machiavelli's, just to see if he kept his curtains down or if he finally got them back into place. And speaking of the devil, if it was not Machiavelli stomping his way to the roof on which he had been sitting. 

“No need to come up and drag me down, I can do that on my own.” Wait, was it him or did the tiles just move under his feet? Man, he must have been still for a long time, it felt as though his legs would not obey him. It was enough to send him sprawling on the roof. He could not even get up, it was as though his whole balance was jammed somehow. He tried to crawl back up and it took him a few seconds to realize that he was slipping past the edge of the rooftop. Only then did a hand grab his wrist while another got hold of his belt through the cloak. He made an undignified sound when he was dragged back onto the roof. 

“Looks like I'm having to drag you up, you can drag yourself down just fine.”

“Enough snark will you? Something's wrong...” When did the sky replaced the red tiles? Wait, was that Machiavelli? He was looking weird... weirder than normal. Head hurts – damn-

Machiavelli sighed. The last thing he needed was a thief snoring the evening away on a roof. He probably got drugged. And however endearing it could be to have La Volpe out cold and silent for once, it was not exactly the best time or place. As he dragged the man down the stairs back to ground level, his eye caught a glimpse of something vaguely silvery to his left. A syringe? After laying the fox at the bottom of the stairs, he went back up and picked what was a syringe indeed. How on earth did a syringe make its way here? Obviously, it may have a link with Volpe's state but it was odd nonetheless. A slip of paper caught his attention. It had slipped between two planks but it was obviously due to some weight put on said planks. He read it and while part of him cringed at the arrogance, the other part of him just wanted to laugh.

Now the fox is really sleeping. It was easier than I ever thought it would be. You would have to excuse-me but I was bored.  
Ps: The effects should wear off in a few hours. 

Machiavelli tucked the note in his pocket and wrapped the syringe up, just in case there was some substance left in it. No use to take risks and actually risk falling like a log in the middle of the street himself. 

A sharp whistle once outside had three recruits showing up, much to his relief.  
“I understand you may have other things to do but I would be grateful if you could help me carry this useless snoring idiot back to my own safeplace.”

“Not to the island, Ser Machiavelli?” 

“It's too far, and I would rather avoid attracting any undue attention.” 

The recruits nodded and carried the _volpe addormentata_ back to Machiavelli's lodgings, where they laid him on the bed. He could have ditched him on the sofa, or even the floor, but it was no way to treat a poisoned man. 

After thanking the novices, Machiavelli turned back to his desk, sparing but a glance at the sleeping thief. It was a strange sleep indeed. He gave no sign of life but the barely visible rise and fall of his chest. 

“Really, what am I going to do with you? Can you tell me? It's not enough that I have to cover Ezio when he goes around burning things down, I'll have to guard you from _dottori_ as well?” There was little doubt as to who could have poisoned La Volpe. He unwrapped the syringe – he had seen one before. It was the work of one templar doctor. Though he had attacked only courtesans up until now. “He was bored, Gilberto. Bored. Care to explain why would someone bored do something so stupid, since you seem to be one for idiocy as well? Really, for all your praise and talents and ego, to fall prey to a man like him. Either you've gotten quite old or you just like to get into troubles just for the hell of it. I would not even put it past you. Really, what with all the carelessness?” He spun on his heels to glare at the sleeping form on the mattress. “I ask this once again: What am I going to do with you?” 

A groan echoed from the bed. “Keep me. And shut up.” And with that, a light snore that told Machiavelli that now was not the moment to argue. What an infuriating man! Though he had to say that he loved to 'hate' him. It was most entertaining – well, aside when he had to carry him. The fox was not exactly a lightweight. Shifting on his chair, he winced. He must have pulled a muscle in the process. 

“You are the most annoying man I ever met.” _But yes, I'll keep you. But I am still not going to let you off the hook. They are going to hear about it as far as Firenze._


End file.
